“The Mummy (2017)” -Review:

Princess Ahmanet (Sofia Botuella) was betrayed and had her destiny wrongfully taken from her. The ancient princess is back from the dead, filled with vengeance and determined to take back what’s hers. 

When The Mummy was announced with Tom Cruise attached I didn’t feel one way or the other about it. I thought Universal was using their IP and attaching it to a Tom Cruise action vehicle. It turns out they had different plans. That plan includes a Dark Universe. From Frankenstein to The Invisible Man and Dracula. Universal has spared no expense adding A list, world class names to their cinematic universe. Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, and Russell Crowe to name a few. A movie that wasn’t on a lot of people’s radar this year, is now the catalyst for a multi film cinematic universe. Will The Mummy start it off on the right foot, or will Universal stumble out of the box?

It’s not the start the Dark Universe needed. The Mummy was a subpar film at best. At worst it moved at a snails pace and you were waiting for it to end. The whole film is long drawn out exposition and some underwhelming action. Underwhelming for Tom Cruise, for any other film it would’ve been a bright spot in an other wise irredeemable experience. 

The acting is average. Tom Cruise plays himself and doesn’t really have a lot to do. It’s a lot of him being delirious and making a supposed face. Thats it. Russell Crowe is hardly in it. He’s good in the limited scenes he has. Jack Johnson was painfully unfunny, it’s not his fault the script was awful though. Annabelle Wallis’s character wasn’t needed in the film. Her and Cruise really just finish each other’s sentences. Then Cruise holds her hand the entire time while they run. 

My favorite part of this dreadful experience was Sofia Boutella as The Mummy. She was menacing, had a little crazy in her performance, and she is fantastic in the physical scenes. Boutella should be a star one day, I’m sure she was counting on this taking off and propelling her career to new heights. The film just isn’t good at all, and she’ll probably be lumped in with that. It’s wrong, but that’s the nature of the beast. 

Director Alex Kurtzman tries to take three distinctly different tones and make one coherent film. It was too big of a task for him. It’s not funny when it tries desperately to be. Kurtzman uses the cliche jump scares to try to instill some horror. His direction of the action also leaves a lot to be desired. None of it worked. The tones are so different. It’s impossible to make that type of film work when the script is this bad. 

If you catch The Mummy on cable, you can try to watch it. I don’t think it’s worth going to the theater to see. The Dark Universe is in some trouble out of the gate. Hopefully it makes money for Universal’s sake. 

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